Most of the time I’m ineffectual. I come to work to suck value out of the organisation. My existence merely creates irrelevant work that does’t need to be done.
My colleagues don’t like or respect me, they don’t value what I do and they’d function much better without me. They know the business would be ten times more productive if I didn’t exist. I’m tolerated because that’s what businesses do.
I don’t have any influence. People don’t turn to me for advice. I operate in a vacuum have little, if any, impact on the rest of the organisation. Everyone talks about me and laughs at how ridiculously pointless I am.
Then, overnight….a “change” occurs.
I am the dark overlord that runs the business from the behind the mist of poisonous cloud that surrounds me. I move in the shadows with such power and influence that grown men weep in my presence.
The forms and processes that my evil minions devise have a black magic that possesses the hearts and minds of those that set eyes on them. Leaders and managers cower and obey my every word.They have no choice, because of the evil I wield.
I am the one true power and my intent is to bring misery and despair on all of those that I employ. I have one simple purpose and that is to dehumanise and debase every single employee that exists in my realm.
I am useless and ineffective.
Yet I am evil and malevolent.
So which one am I?
I am HR.