HR

The etiquette of resigning, or how not to look like a twonk.

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DON’T start slagging your current employer off before you’ve left – no matter how much you may want to. You’re still employed, these people are still paying you and it makes you look like a petulant child.

DO turn up to work. You’ve given notice, ok, but you’re still bound by the Contract of Employment…that shiny document you signed when you were a bright-eyed hopeful new recruit. It still counts.

DON’T start throwing sickies. Think of your team mates, think of your colleagues. Yes, you’re leaving, but until you’re replaced you’re still letting the team down. And they’ll hate you for it.

DO remember that it is a “small world”. You never know who might know whom, when you might need a favour, or when you might end up face to face with one of these people again.

DON’T start talking about how you’re too “big for the job”. Nobody wants to hear it….and nobody believes it. The job is as big as you make it…you just gave up trying.

DO expect to work your notice. Unless you’re truly lucky you’re going to be held to the entire period that YOU signed up to. Make that your expectation…. anything else is a bonus.

DON’T try and turn your co-workers against the company to give you the confidence to justify your decision. They have to schlep in and out of work every day regardless of your decision. Leave them be to live their lives.

DO put as much effort in on the last day as you put in on the first day. It’s called personal dignity.

DON’T expect everyone/anyone to miss you. They’re moving on, just like you.

Permission to speak, Sir?

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Some conversation just “feel” harder to have than others. We all have one or two conversations that we need to have hanging around in our brains. We know we need to have them, but we don’t. We know we would be better for having them, but we have so many more important things to do.

Right?

I know, I have them too. Those issues that need to be tackled, those situations that need to be challenged, those problems that are….well problems, that you can’t quite face, but can’t quite live with. We’re walking around with a host of these things banging around in the dark recesses of our brains day in, day out.

Our lives our full, our days are jam-packed with situations that we deal with. But our quiet moments, our dreams, our nightmares are full of situations that we don’t deal with. Such is the complexity and intricacy of this existence that we call life. It isn’t perfect, it isn’t the whole package, but it is everything that we have and all that we will ever have.

The thing that makes these conversations tougher than the others, the thing that makes us hesitate, the thing that makes us put this back to another day, is permission.

Permission.

The conversations that we have are easy.

The conversations that we don’t have are hard.

That sounds simple, but in many cases it isn’t anything to do with the actual content there is something darker going on in the back of our little minds. There is something that stops us and it is the concept of permission. We don’t feel that we are able, we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, we don’t want to take the risk.

Yet we all know, that when we find the courage to speak out, when we find the focus to tackle these issues, when we manage to put our fears aside and open our mouths, well then things become a whole lot simpler.

Permission is a nonsense, permission is the crutch of inaction, permission is the excuse that stops you from starting your life. Permission is the kindling of the fire that will make you the person that you can and should be.

Set fire to permission, go ask the questions, go challenge the status quo. Go take a weight off your mind.

You know you’re worth it….and you know things will be better if you do.

“It’s not fair”

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The Olympics are only a few days away. For some this will induce a sigh of despair, for others a sense of excitement. For the many, many competitors this is their moment to compete on the world’s biggest stage and potentially to shine.  And for those that perform above and beyond anyone else, the ultimate prize, the medal, the media spotlight and the adulation of the watching crowds.

People like to see people win at sport.

People hate to see people win in life.

When we see a sportsman or woman stand on the podium, taking the ultimate prize, we talk about the hours of commitment, the sacrifices, the hard work and the talent. Yet when we see someone doing well in life, we talk about the fact that they must have got there by screwing others, the injustice, the fact that they are a “fat cat”.

I know life isn’t a level playing field. But neither is sport.

I can’t win the 100 meters final at the Olympics, I’m not going to score the winning goal in the FA cup final, and I’m not even going to get around the park in as quick a time as many. Does that make it unfair?

Is it unfair that Usain Bolt can run faster than me and therefore gets a goal medal and millions of dollars worth of endorsements?

Is it unfair that Didier Drogba scored in the final of both the FA Cup and the Champions League and secured a big money move to a club in China?

Is it unfair that you can run around the park quicker than me and therefore get to the pub first?

Next time you’re thinking about the guy with a bigger house, the girl who got the promotion ahead of you, or reading the reports about somebody else’s bonus, remember this: it isn’t unfair, they’re just doing better than you.

Work hard, do your best, fulfil your potential and your talent and stop looking on with envy at others. Whatever rewards that brings, if you’ve done your best that is all that matters. Respect the success of others, be gracious and, for the love of God, stop bleating on.

Act your age

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Now with an update below.

I’m no extrovert…..as people who know me will tell you. I can stand up at a conference and speak, I can hold the attention of a board room, I can even manage to make people laugh…..now and again. But my preference is for conversations in smaller groups. It is just the way that I am.

My son is very like me in this respect. Or so I thought.

At the beginning of the year he got his grades and his drama mark was….well it was ok. Not bad, not good, just pretty average. James is academically strong, he is bright. He is also a good sportsman, not the best, but a good team player and a member of the cricket and rugby squads. He isn’t an actor. Or so I thought.

On the back of his grades, he announced that he was going to join the drama club. He wasn’t happy and he wanted to improve his grade. The only person more shocked than us was his drama teacher. Because he isn’t like that. Or so I thought.

Last night, we sat and watched the end of year performance. It was a Little Red Riding Hood mash-up with comedy, timing, one liners, interplay and significant dialogue. And there was James playing one of the major roles. Maybe not the star this time, but he was on and off stage throughout and with many, many lines.

And he rocked.

He was confident, his timing was impeccable, he was humorous and his delivery was word perfect. This was not my son.

But of course it was, and I was wrong.

Independently he had assessed his strengths and weaknesses, he had the courage to identify where he needed to develop and he had the balls to go and do it. He didn’t say, “its not me” he didn’t say “I’m not an actor”, he didn’t say “I’m not like that”.

He said, “I’m going to show you that I can do anything I set my mind to”.

He didn’t say, “That is just the way that I am”.

Now there’s a thing.

We’re adults, we know everything. They’re kids, they know nothing. Or so I thought.

What if we all set about tackling one thing that we know we’re just not that good at?

Update: So, he recently auditioned and has just landed the role of Bugsy in the full production of Bugsy Malone. I’m proud, but more than that I’m amazed at how much you can achieve when you put your mind to it. Well done that man, we can all learn from children.