Because you’re worth it. Aren’t you?

Posted on by Blog

The nature of my life is such that the topics of conversation can verge from the sublime to the ridiculous, to the completely unexpected. A case in point is that last week I managed to discuss the array of deviant sexual practices and the financial model of HR services within the same 24 hours.

Go figure.

Whilst I’d love to tell you all about felching spoons and the fetishistic objectification of nuns, I’m not sure that would be the best use of your time, please the internet censors, or be particularly wholesome. That said, if you catch me over a glass of wine or two, who knows what could happen….

But that’s not the point. Or maybe it is. But it’s not THIS point.

Most HR teams are set up as cost centres. They’re overheads. Essentially this means that as a user, you get what you’re given. And you pay for it, whether you like it or not. There are advantages to this. Sometimes we have to do things that people don’t want, or don’t know that they want. Sometimes we need to do things a little bit differently to how people want.

But what if we were profit centres? What if we charged for our services and then other departments could buy them? How would that work? And why are companies increasingly looking at this?

I can immediately see some advantages. Instilling a mindset within the HR team to focus on value generation would be helpful. Allowing managers to define the value they want from the HR team could be insightful. And perhaps most of all, reducing the number of pointless and failed initiatives that drive employees and managers up the wall would be a huge benefit.

Still, it can’t counter the unease I have about the whole idea. Firstly it assumes that procurers are experienced, educated and knowledgable. And that isn’t always the case. Secondly, it creates unnecessary internal markets that detracts attention away from the real purpose of the organisation. Finally, and for me most importantly, it suggests HR is there to serve the budget holders and not all employees. Which worries me.

I think HR can gain all the benefits that are derived from this way of operating, without having to change the financial model and incur the associated down sides. It doesn’t seem to me a huge leap of faith or thinking to do that.

Ask yourself, every day, “Would I pay for my service?”

And if that doesn’t work and if things get really bad. Console yourself that what ever might happen, “we’ll always have fisting”.

Yeah. That.

Performance anxiety

Posted on by Blog

I’m no fan of the performance review. In fact I’d class it as the single biggest example of the old joke about the definition of insanity being the repetition of an act whilst expecting different results.

It isn’t working? Then change the form.

Everyone hates performance reviews, they suck the life force out of managers, employees, the HR department and the leadership team. And yet, we kind of need them.

I was having a conversation with a friend last week and they were bemoaning the torture that is the annual performance appraisal. The sentiment went something like this,

“And then they expect us to review people against these stupid f***ing values that make no sense to anyone. Why can’t we just get in, get out and get the job done.”

And I’ve got some sympathy. We all like the idea of a quickie. The performance equivalent of a knee trembler behind the bicycle shed.

But the thing is this, if you think about the best manager you’ve ever had, if you think about the best team you ever worked with, if you think about the most problematic experience you’ve ever had at work. Was it because of the delivery of the work, or was it because of the behaviours and the personal qualities?

My guess is the latter.

The challenge for us in HR, the challenge for those of us who aren’t sleep walking towards conformity and a mediocre stupor, is to think about how we reinvent and rethink this important aspect of our working lives.

– We know the value of human and heart in the workplace, and yet we systemise it to the point of ridicule and derision.

– We know the value of feedback and honest, open discussions, and yet we develop such complex processed that it becomes a task in itself.

– We know that what we have isn’t fit for purpose and yet we persist in tinkering not transforming.

And yet, I just can’t come up with an answer.

That’s what is on my mind. What’s on yours?

We like it nice and hard

Posted on by Blog

The hard appeals to us, the hard is commercial. The hard is sure and certain. The hard is the thing that we yearn for. As humans we long to be hard, to be formed, to be clear, to be resolute in our existence. The hard makes sense, it makes it easy, it makes us believe and belong.

And anything that stands in the way of this is unhelpful, it is counter productive, subversive nonsense. That needs to be put in its rightful place.

The soft is for the uncommitted, the inconclusive and the indecisive, the soft is for the softies, the losers and the weaklings, the almost rans and the wannabes. The soft is what makes us vulnerable.

Giving people choice is soft.
Telling them what to do is hard.

Giving people responsibility is soft.
Taking control is hard.

Considering the views of others is soft.
Being decisive is hard.

Looking after the wellbeing is soft.
Measurement of output is hard.

We know what we need and what we want, we know what we value and where we excel. We understand what makes us tick. What’s soft is hard, what is hard is soft.

The rest is just a choice.

HR excellence versus HR stupidity

Posted on by Blog

I watched the aftermath of the HR Excellence awards unfold with the dismay of a once proud father seeing the return of their drunken offspring, black eyes, a bleeding nose and in the back of a cop car. (CAVEAT ONE: Before I go on, I should point out I wasn’t at the awards nor did I follow the events live on Twitter). I was sat at home drinking herbal tea and having an early night. We can’t all be rock and roll…….

Anyone who has been to an awards evening will know that the compere is always a point of contention. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re indifferent. Turns out the chap at HR Excellence created a new category, shockingly inappropriate. (CAVEAT TWO: I’m not defending any of the content or trying to argue that jokes apparently about child abuse are in anyway funny. Just no. I wasn’t there, but it sounds quite wrong).

So it turns out people were offended. So offended that some laughed, some Victor Meldrewed on the spot and some took to Twitter. None, that I’ve heard of were so offended or felt it appropriate to walk out. There was clearly still free booze to be had, sponsors to be pleased, and we have to balance indignation with a free bar now, don’t we? But shocking nonetheless and somebody, SOMEBODY had to take the blame.

The organisers.

And so the bile and outrage and pointed indignation was directed at the folks at HR Magazine. (CAVEAT THREE: Before it is dragged up by the gutter press, I have once been photographed having a glass of wine at an event with the Editor and Deputy Editor of the magazine, but I did not have sexual relations with that woman…..)

Anyhoo, the point is….. they’re still to blame.

Bastards.

But the thing is this. Can you imagine anyone who felt worse about this turn of events than the organisers? Can you put yourself in their place and think how that might feel? Can you imagine the sensation in the pit of the stomach? How they slept that night? The conversation in the office this morning?

As practitioners, as professionals we constantly espouse the idea of a no blame culture. And I personally don’t think it is helpful, productive or useful to point out loudly and openly where things went wrong. I do, however, believe in learning, and when things go badly wrong most people need time to regroup and to reappraise.

Banging on constantly about the way in which they’ve fucked up is hardly productive or helpful. Nor is it thoughtful, grown up or intelligent. It is the behaviour of vacuous, intellectually stunted, egotistical, smug idiots who constantly take the moral high ground and are as risk adverse as a crash helmeted slug in a refrigerator full of lettuce.

When you find out things have gone wrong, guess what? They’ve gone wrong. They’re not going wrong, likely to go wrong or even potentially wrong. They’re full fat, 100% pure, total high energy WRONG. And you can’t change that. When things go wrong, most people feel bad. Really fucking bad.

We have a choice how we react, we can support, help, advise, nurture and console. Or we can jump and down, point the finger of blame, claim second sight and superiority. It’s a choice and the choice we make reflects on our practice and on us. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I’m not religious, but there seems to be something in that?

I want the HR profession to be bold, to be edgy, to take risks and to push the boundaries. Sometimes that will mean that we get things wrong. And if every time something goes wrong we behave like a bunch of puritanical know it alls, we will take less risks and be less exciting and less progressive. Maybe this was a risk that went wrong. Whatever, I’m sure the guys at HR mag are regretting it now, and I’m sure as hell that they don’t need the idiots rubbing it in their face.